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So you're feeling down. Maybe it's just the Tuesday blues or maybe you've seen your ex cruising with the new significant other with whom she's leaving town, it really isn't important why but you're down and out. You hit the local eatery and run into some gorgeous girl from Babyfat, a local band of superior talent and she remembers your name. You hit your habitual hangout, Dottie's, and the crowd is there in the usual state with a few new folk to add to the mix. Local Kate Bush impersonators Rosewater Elizabeth don't help, too moody. You decide Dottie's isn't enough to lighten your mood and you head to the Star Bar with an entourage of Dottie's regulars and others. The doorman knocks a dollar off your cover, happy to see you back. The Star Bar is hoppin', as always, and the funk flows like Mad Dog, thick and stinky. You get into the groove with the new folk and lots of the old and things are beginning to degenerate to the state that makes you blissful, if not happy. A random woman you've never seen slinks over and fondles your ass for a while and says "You're beautiful!" and you thank her profusely. Her friend, the cuter of the two, grins at you as well. The regulars are shakin' booty like you like and the new folk are getting in the groove, slowly but surely, and you... Well, it's hard to sulk when some girl starts kissing you while, unbeknownst to her, you're fondling some other woman's ass behind you while yet another couple of women stare in admiration. The kisser is complimentary, you're thankful and thinking "Damn, when it rains, it POURS." wondering what it IS you have at that precise moment. The kisser leaves, the fondler has found someone else but the foldlee is still shakin' so you stick around and watch as two women attempt to seduce a random male, right next to two other women trying to seduce another random male, all of them gorgeous. You tell the foldlee she's the sexiest thing in the joint, not too much of a white lie, and hit the road, giggling all the way home. Why are you depressed again...?

We cried out for a substitute for the word "hep" and got some responses. We've decided to abandon "hep" due to it's extreme overuse in the media after the Degenerate Press' reintroduction of the word two years ago. Thus far our favorite new adjective is "superior." Suggestions are still being taken!

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