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I've always felt a kind of weird spiritual connection with our Tuesday haunt Dottie's. I thought it was just me and a few others but lately we've uncovered many too-wierd-to-be-coincidences that point to a powerful mystic force centered on the establishment.
On of our oldest Dottie's degenerates Bonnie Bonnie was introduced to a newer Dottie's degenerate Alanna. Alanna later realized she'd worked with Bonnie years before.
One of the bartender's daughter, Kira, had caught our eyes many a night. Dottie's regular David went to his ex-wife's father's funeral to deliver the eulogy in distant Dahlonega, only to find Kira at the funeral, neither of them not knowing she is a relative of David's ex.
The newest of regulars, Elizabeth, was brought to Dottie's and introduced to Alanna. It is later found that they both played on the same soccer team in high school.
Other "coincidences" have arisen over the couple of years we've frequented the establisment and it's getting to the point where I fully expect I'll be running into someone from my distant past the next time I wander into the joint. Looking for that long-lost second cousin? Wonder what ever happened to the first person you kissed? The answer may be laying in wait at Dottie's, every Tuesday.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, as you're all probably aware, we have to scour TONS of local media, flyers, handouts, telephone poles, and email just to accumulate the mass of Prophesy we bring to our audience. In this month's In Site, our least favorite free "news"paper, is an ad offering a test to see if you suffer from depression. The ad's copy is in all caps below, while our responses in lowercase:
DO YOU OFTEN FEEL:
DEPRESSED OR IRRITABLE?
A LOSS OF INTEREST OR PLEASURE FROM DAILY ACTIVITIES?
what daily activities? you mean I'm supposed to be doing something every day??
EASY FATIGABILITY OR LOSS OF ENERGY?
I don't have the energy to come up with a snappy response right now. maybe later.
LOSS OF APETITE OR OVEREATING?
I am in America, aren't I?
FEELINGS OF WORTHELSSNESS OR GUILT?
I'm not worthy of answering that, and I feel guilty for having such low self esteem. I know I should do better.
DIFFICULTY WITH CONCENTRATION OR MEMORY?
what was the question again?
FEELINGS LIKE LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING?
I'm just waiting for the punch line, and it's a really long joke so far!
This was on the same page as an ad for people who suffer Panic Attacks, Asthma, and an ad for Egg Donors Needed. Cheerful paper. Oddly enough, the paper is targeted at college students but the current issue is filled with exotic travel reports from places no student can possibly afford. For a far superior travel log, subscribe to Degeneration Excerpt and read of our mega-cheap cross-country investigative reports, coming in the April issue. $2 or $8/year for 6 episodes!
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