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No, not Jeff Clark's wet dream band...
Tuesday we loaded up the truck to head to the drive in to hand out invites to the Halloween Housewarming and catch a flick, only to find one of our cats (Sneeches, who you may remember from such Electric Degeneration episodes as "Great Party, Anyone Seen The Cat?") acting VERY sickly after his nightly outdoor hunting hour. A trip to Pets Are People Too confirms he's not well - a broken sternum and other internal injuries from some sort of accident. He stayed overnight and were supposed to refer him to a doctor around 9 AM. When we didn't hear from them we called and they said "Maybe 11, but definitely by 4." It's a good thing pet's AREN'T people too or they'd be in for a malpractice suit. Our regular vet said they wouldn't recommend them even in an emergency. Of course, our regular vet wasn't open at 8 PM. So 24 hours later we returned to see if they'd finally gotten the referral info they need. We ended up waiting more than half an hour just to have the doc say they still hadn't talked to the referral doc and they recommend he stay another night (for god knows how much) and by the time we got that news we were hardly in the mood for the big show at Variety. Back at the ranch, Sneeches' boyfriend Louie is pacing back and forth and crying, having already searched the house top to bottom for his boyfriend.
In other medical news, big tobacco is sticking it to the rest of the world now that they can't stick it to the U.S. as easily: My personal favorite part of the article: "We agree that smoking is addictive," David Davies, vice president of corporate affairs for Philip Morris Europe admitted to a World Health Organization panel. He even acknowledged that smoking causes lung cancer and heart disease but said it would be wrong to expose tobacco companies to U.S.-style lawsuits in the rest of the world.
Hmm, "we admit that we are killing everyone but we don't think we should be held accountable like we are in the U.S."?? I've heard politicians that make more sense!
Speaking of idiocy, if you haven't seen Jackass on MTV you should. If we'd had video cameras when I was a teenager this could have been our documentary.
But we're not teenagers any more. In fact, your editor's birthday is this weekend. The official party is the 28th (see below) but if you'd like to join us for the best cheap mexican food in town this Saturday, the 21st, RSVP.
On the big screen, several local degenerates have parts in the upcoming Mr. Show with Bob & Dave movie, Run, Ronnie, Run:

We got several reports about Friday's show at Dottie's. Here's degenerate SK's version:
Local legend Heinous Bienfang brought his special brand of madness to Dottie's Friday night. Opening act was the Squares, whose in-your-face, jump-on-and-off-tables, surf/punk is delivered without benefit of vocals. Ignore them at your peril. Next up was Sonic Colonic, who held to the rock tradition of escalate or die (get louder). Prelude to the Heinous show was the distribution of several dozen long, rock-hard loaves of French bread to the masses. These potentially deadly weapons were quickly broken down into less harmful, longer-lasting ammunition. When the words "Heinous got fishes" flashed through the crowd, the faithful knew no good would come of it. A listener blind to all of the theatrics could still have appreciated a killer punk rock show, but the survival of the visually impaired entering the free-fire zone would have been doubtful. One of the booking guys was caught between the eyes by an exocet and nearly cold-cocked. The only miracle around was that not a sign of this pandemonium remained the next day (other than a few spatters of blood and other miscellaneous piscine bodily fluids on the ceiling). Heinous plays next at the EARL on Halloween. A word to the wise: make sure you're not responsible for cleaning that expensive rental costume.

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