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Friday we headed to the edges of the perimeters to Jake's, a relatively new joint out on 78 just past North Dekalb Mall. It's a former country joint turned blues bar, but the old country contingent remains, raisin' hell at the bar on a pay day Friday. Unfortunately the live act slated to play never showed, so we played a few rounds of pool, had some of their decent food, then split for more fun.
Just south of the perimeter on Moreland is Blazin' Saddles, a small strip club catering to the OTP crowd and the occasional trucker. The performers were a friendly bunch, with talent and looks above the Clermont set but significantly lower than the girls of Pink Pony, which was perfect for my mood - I couldn't talk anyone into Clermont, or the midnight screening of Rocky Horror at The Plaza (degenerate DC said "I'm too old for Rocky Horror." We'll throw a fund raiser for his colonoscopy and funeral later this year), so Blazin' Saddles was an adequate substitution.
Sunday we headed east to Conyers for the gay rodeo, a small but energetic event out at the International Horse Park. There wasn't nearly enough gayness for my perverse tastes - about the only difference between this and a "straight" rodeo was the guys went shirtless more often and occasionally held hands. Otherwise it was the smell of horse shit and Brut, barbecue and beer, guys riding horses and bucking bulls, and the occasional campy event for humor. The "drag race" was probably my personal fave, with a guy in drag trying to ride a bull across a line with his teammates tried desperately to get the beast to move. Watching a guy in a dress get thrown off a bull was a hoot. "Goat dressing" was entertaining as well, with teams of 2 competing to see who could get a pair of whitey tighties onto a goat the fastest. For photos from these events check out www.degeneratepress.com/earplugs/archives/gay_rodeo/
Included in that directory is a photo of the clouds that closed in on our way home, freaky ones like you see just before a tornado. I was tempted to get DC to pull over, leap out and jump in the ditch. Then the rains came down and slowed our trip to a crawl.
Sunday we had a tough time deciding what to watch on TV with so many excellent choices. The rest of the week is pretty much a wasteland, but Sundays have The Simpsons, Sopranos, Jackass, Bands on the Run, and this week a special Iron Chef, amongst other offerings. Channel surfing to make our decision, we double-checked to make sure MTV was still airing Jackass at all. What with all the fucking MORONS going out and "imitating" the show in an effort to be on television, the show has come under fire. The above paragraph is really just foreplay for my main thrust here.
STUPID PEOPLE SHOULD DIE.
That's evolution. That's nature's way of weeding out the weak, be they physically or mentally inferior to the rest of the populace. I think we should broadcast Jackass 24/7, a special network should be set up just for such programming. It would show people riding shopping carts down hills, sticking their hands under running mowers, drinking and driving, getting towed behind trucks while wearing skates, smoking cigarettes, all for the TV audience - basically a combination of Cops, Jackass, America's Funniest Home Videos and Faces of Death. The programs shouldn't come with disclaimers of any sort. In fact, it should ENCOURAGE people to "try this at home." It isn't like we couldn't lose 5 billion people in acts of stupidity and be in danger of going extinct. It would be entertaining as hell for the rest of us, and we would evolve towards a more intelligent race. The only requirement would be that any of the individuals shown on the network could not perform acts that would harm others, so I guess drinking and driving, and smoking are both out of the running, but any act of self-inflicted punishment would be shown in all it's graphic detail. If you're stupid enough to imitate the acts knowing the consequences so be it, lawyers be damned. I can mentally picture the Helen Lovejoys of the world howling "Won't somebody think on the CHILDREN!?!?" but if you're stupid enough to let your kids watch this kind of crap your spawn shouldn't be included in the race. And if you don't spend enough time with your kids to know what they like to do to relieve the boredom associated with the modern age that's your own damn fault, your genes should be weeded out of the species. This channel should receive government grants, like NPR, and broadcast coast to coast. This way no advertiser could use their influence to keep their product "placements" out of the show - when the idiot on screen charges down the hill on a certain brand skateboard and a wheel flies off we can show a close-up of the brand on the bottom as it flies off into the ditch, the rider shortly behind. This way it could serve to weed out weak products, as well as people. This might confound consumer watchdog groups at first, those who's job it is to protect the stupid from the greedy, but eventually they might be won over and help drive more people to watch, or even participate. It could serve as a testing ground for new products, from cars to drugs - we could all watch as hey test the latest pharmaceuticals on volunteers, who line up around the block just to be on TV! No more cruel animal testing! See the latest Ford SUV on the testing grounds. See the waste of chemical companies' effects on maniacal teens formerly clamoring for a spot on TRL as they charge like lemmings into industrial dumping grounds. Executions, accidents, suicides, and stunts of all kinds - see it all on Stupid TV! But you'd better look quick because idiots like these can't last long! Anybody know how to write a grant application for a new TV network? And maybe we can sell the syndication rights to Fox...
In other news: http://www.cnn.com/2001/TECH/fun.games/05/31/games.riot.reut/index.html
Now if only they'd make one for the other side of the fence, like maybe Stop Rodney King, or Ohio National Guard - the Kent State Chapter...
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