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7/29/2001

BLASPHEMY
There's a guy selling off every single item he owns on ebay: http://www.allmylifeforsale.com
Check out his list of stuff, and look at a few of the auctions. The comments he's put with each item are very funny, not your usual ebay commentary about the item itself but instead more about what the item is worth to him personally, and thus what it means to society at large. My personal fave for sale at the moment is "Bekah's Brown Socks":
http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1618544842
One I wish I'd gotten to bid on was an LP of "Songs from Electric Company" the old TV show. His commentary on the show will give you a flashback:
http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1447680928

This reminded me of the latest Too Much Coffee Man: http://www.toomuchcoffeeman.com/pages/comics/currentcomic.html
There's another report on CNN about how someone is bidding off the option to name their new baby: http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/07/27/baby.naming.ap/index.html
They're hoping some corporation will shell out big bucks for the publicity, not to mention advertising on anything the poor kid puts their name on for the rest of his life, assuming he doesn't run to a judge on his 18th birthday and change it.
But John D. Freyer of allmylifeforsale really illustrates the end all beat all logical end of capitalism - what is all this shit we accumulate actually WORTH, in cold hard cash? Heck, I wish I'd thought of it. Unfortunately I value some of my possessions far more than their monetary worth. Once someone offshore, or in China, sets up an ebay-like site for organs, body parts, spouses and servants we'll really have the ultimate tool for the capitalist culture. And maybe the third world will finally solve both their economic AND overcrowding woes! They could get Sally Struthers to do the ads, "For just pennies a day you could own one of these starving children..."

"Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, 'Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?' Said they got two Koreans and a Negro born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world." Glen, from Raising Arizona

GEEK OUT
We're still getting emails due to the SirCam virus so please STOP OPENING ATTACHMENTS, particularly the "I send you this file..." flavored ones.

DEGENERATES ABROAD
Degenerate MB sent us this response to last episode's report on Jackson:
Jackson hasn't changed, then. I used to reside in MS with my parents a long while ago. Monthly or sometimes biweekly trips to Jackson, a long eighty-one miles that culminated on the north side of the Ross Barnett resevoir on the way into the city. Jackson, by the way, is not the place where I saw my first interstate. That was Meridian. (I digress.) Trips to McRae's and Red Lobster, especially for having reasonable cole slaw. We - honestly - really didn't know much different. You mentioned a tour of the old capitol building. I remember going on a self-guided one when I was eight. In the back of one of the exhibits -- facing toward the west side of the building -- and saw a blinking red light. I investigated and set off the security alarm. Huh. The capitol tour is also where I was introduced to the ill timing of corporate sponsorship -- press a button, hear a description of The Island, I believe. It didn't work. I wasn't to be as disappointed again until my family strode into North Park Mall (Jackson, again -- not unlike Lenox's danker parts about ten years ago, dark lighting and neon to the extreme at its first opening) and was engulfed in the fumes of the popcorn stand. Anyway -- hopefully, Jackson will assert itself someday. There was never a back to come from, really -- the boarded-up shotgun shacks and tall weeds have been there for years and years. A trip along the Natchez Trace can tell you that as well. Thanks for reminding me of Hinds County -- I haven't been there in quite awhile.


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