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April 2004

Saturday Afternoon

Saturday I slept in as much as I could, assembled my gear and returned just in time for Cap’n Slapy’s Nautical Hour Presents William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. This performance of the famed play is done almost entirely by the audience with a ringleader barking out stage commands and holding up the occasional cue card. They did the entire play with about 5 lines in under half and hour and often it looked more like a cross between jazzercise and a riot than a theatrical presentation. I would’ve added a few more lines so that we would have a vague idea of what was supposed to be happening in terms of plot, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

We ran out for a bite and returned in time for the slave auction, a traditional event at Fantasm. Slaves sell themselves off for a couple of hours of servitude (nothing illegal and nothing perverse, unless that’s what they agree upon) with all proceeds going to charity.

In the courtyard a group wrestled in something like 60 pounds of pudding, taking donations for some random charity. Few were brave enough to stand close, much less participate, but the yard was crowded with onlookers.

I got an email that said "The beneficiary of both the Charity Slave Auction and the World Pudding Federation event was National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF).  See more about them at"

This lovely girl skated around wearing nothing but skates and body paint,
handing out flyers promoting a film she's in.
She gets my award for Best Shameless Self-Promotion!
And no, that's not a bad thing.

For my years of attendance, service, willingness to make a fool of myself both onstage and off, and because he knew I’d hit every party, The Reverend granted me Party Judge status. This tradition goes back before Fantasm to Magnum Opus Con. I remember hearing about the first time someone organized the party battles. I said to myself, “Shit, whoever gets to decide that gets his ass kissed at every party all night!” I’ve hassled the organizers every year since for the honor.

At some point I swung by the Kink Track rooms, which were being set up for the bondage play party later.

If they're real, this girl gets my award for Best Breasts.

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