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April 2004

Thursday Night

Eventually it was time for the official events to get going, kicking off with live music.

Well, half-live.

Vampstar used “backing tracks” instead of live percussion, rounding the sound out with live bass, keyboard, and a singer that reminded me of the drag queen from Dead or Alive. There’s a little bit of 80’s goth Dead or Alive in their sound too. Positively the absolute worst music I have ever experienced in person. The lyrics alone almost made me cough out my first drink. I couldn’t tell you a thing about them had they not had some very nice eye candy to keep me in the room for a few minutes at a time. But even with such sights, the sounds drove me out after a few minutes.

I returned a while later, just as they blew a breaker or something. It took the staff a while to figure out how to get things up and running again. The girls tried to hold everyone’s attention, but soon even they got bored.
The power came back on eventually, putting everything behind schedule right off the bat. A bummer, but no experienced con-goer expects anything to be on time.
Meanwhile, long time con-party-thrower Reverend John Ling had prepared the con suite for the kickoff party.
He took geekdom to new heights by throwing a Revenge of the Nerds party, nerdishly recreating the films in minute detail, complete with t-shirts and costumes and such. Nerds glorifying a film that glorifies nerds – postmodern nerdism at it’s finest.
I thought this guy had lost a contact or something, until he growled and snapped at me. Then I realized he was acting like a dog. No, I don’t mean that in some metaphorical way. He crawled everywhere and even nipped a few friends on the calf. I was tempted to sink my big boot in his face but his handler kept him at bay most of the time.
Next in the main ballroom, The Unadored, an audible improvement over Vampstar but still not my cup o’ tea. Tired-sounding goth kinda droney, dark stuff with Dali films projected over them for a heavy-handed attempt at being surreal. Cute, but not cute enough to hold my attention.
Back in the con suite, the nerd party was in full swing as a parade of guys in Alpha Beta t-shirts invaded, chanting “nerd nerd nerd” over and over again as they hoisted a keg into place behind the bar.
Their sorority sisters followed, then they picked out people dressed as nerds (either for the party or as default) and encircled them, pointing and chanted “nerd” at them. It had the feel of a Nazi rally in many ways and I kept waiting for the chant to change to “Jew.” Fortunately that never came about. Instead, they held eachother over the keg one by one for “kegstands”, an acrobatic feat involving drinking beer upside down. Impressive!

In the main ballroom, Salome’s Wish wrapped up the live music portion of the con. Yet another improvement. Their visual effects included day-glo paint and blacklights. Unfortunately, I can’t recall it in detail as I was running from place to place, buzzing like a bee in more ways than one.
In the other half of the con suite a guy had set up an area for bodypainting. Over the course of the weekend he painted countless women, some entirely naked, and a male or two. He did great work and anything that encourages girls to run around undressed is fine by me.
Fortunately my digital camera kept everything in order ‘cause I would’a forgotten things like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, shown on a sheet in the ballroom.
The low-tech quality of the event only added to the flavor and there wasn’t a heck of a lot else going on.
Besides, when you’ve got a Janet like this why go anywhere else?

For more of this lovely lass, see her site at

She gets my award for Best Bubble-Butt!

Back at the nerd party, the lovely Soni was running around signing people.
I guess she liked my pants?

Thanks to Reverend Gale for this shot.

Award for Cutest Male-Male couple goes to this pair
having a swell time at the Nerd Party.

I remember striking this pose, but I don't remember why.

I headed out sometime around 3:30 AM. There was still lots of socializing going on but one thing I’ve learned in years of con whoring is not to wear myself out too much on the first night.

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