\u201cWe ask this question of every applicant \u2013 tell me why we should take you on at our organization?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I\u2019m keen to work and your company has a great reputation. I\u2019m interested in devoting my life to something larger than myself. But can you tell me a little about the organization? Like about compensation and benefits, for example?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe don\u2019t offer any, practically speaking, but you do get the benefit <\/em>of saying you\u2019re on the team.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe offer no health insurance whatsoever. There is no safety net for anyone that hasn\u2019t put in a lifetime of work at the company. We offer no housing assistance, though the markets in which we operate are greatly inflated. We have some free training, but only enough to shackle you to the lowest skilled, entry level positions that are completely uncompetitive in a global marketplace.\u00a0 You\u2019ll have to pay for your own training for better positions. Oh, and you should be aware that our security personnel tend to murder people of a certain\u2026 color, but we never press charges against any member of the team as that would be perceived as being weak. We can\u2019t tolerate those who break the rules.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are the rules exactly?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt depends on who you are. There are different rules for stockholders and upper management, of course. We can\u2019t waste our time with rules.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, about that \u2013 lately, your CEO has been saying some rather alarming things, stuff that seems to contradict the company\u2019s stated goals. What exactly does the company\u00a0do<\/em> these days?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWar, mostly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWar? Why?!?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPeace doesn\u2019t pay dividends, and our stockholders demand payouts. It has been our most profitable sector for decades.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2026 don\u2019t understand. Look, I\u2019m interested in working, of course, but more importantly I want to belong to an organization that makes me feel like I\u2019m contributing, and not just to my own bank account and future. I want to help the company thrive, sure, but only if the organization contributes to the greater good of humanity. Otherwise, what\u2019s the point?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPoint? The point is the profits for those at the top, of course. The individual workers all contributing their labor, their sweat, their blood if need be \u2013 and there is always<\/em> a need \u2013 so that we in the boardroom can live the dream we all share. You want a life of almost unimaginable wealth and luxury, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSure, I guess, but\u2013\u201c<\/p>\n \u201cThen sign here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut you\u2019ve already stated there is no chance for advancement. And even if I got to that level, I\u2019d still want to contribute, not just be a parasite.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen why even have an organization? It\u2019s just a host, you see.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cExactly \u2013 why even have this organization? Thanks, but no, I\u2019d rather join another company \u2013 almost any other company. It sounds as if all you can promise is scraping by just to make ends meet. Christ, the depression your workers must feel! It\u2019s a wonder they haven\u2019t burned the place down.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, we keep them too distracted for that \u2013 television, sport, political theater, cultural divides, endless trinkets and toys. We\u2019re even considering allowing certain drugs to be legal so that our workers will complain less. The more they focus inward, on themselves, the less likely they are to inspect our quarterly reports. We keep a close eye on our workers so they won\u2019t keep a close eye on us! By the way, do you have the newest phone? It\u2019s very shiny.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSheesh.\u00a0 The more you talk the less I like. I\u2019m starting to feel a little sick.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOhh, I hope not. Being sick is very expensive.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cVery funny.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not joking.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s it. Not only am I leaving immediately, I\u2019m considering starting some kind of awareness campaign to expose you for the absurd, even dangerous criminals you truly are.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid we can\u2019t allow that. It might damage morale. Security!!! Please look after this applicant. I\u2019m sorry, but we need people like you. We have a rather large percentage of the workforce in detention. It’s very profitable.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGet your hands off me! What\u2019s the point of this? Don\u2019t you want your people to advance, grow, be productive?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot really. That might <\/em>take resources away from board members. More importantly, we would feel less superior to the workers and that, in fact, is the only benefit the company provides.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWait! I just want out!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you for your application!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cWe ask this question of every applicant \u2013 tell me why we should take you on at our organization?\u201d \u201cWell, I\u2019m keen to work and your company has a great reputation. I\u2019m interested in devoting my life to something larger than myself. But can you tell me a little about the organization? Like about compensation […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3457","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.degeneratepress.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3457","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.degeneratepress.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.degeneratepress.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.degeneratepress.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.degeneratepress.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3457"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.degeneratepress.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3457\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3466,"href":"https:\/\/www.degeneratepress.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3457\/revisions\/3466"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.degeneratepress.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3457"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.degeneratepress.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3457"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.degeneratepress.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3457"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}