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Dong Squad
May 2004

Atlanta has a fairly impressive selection of New Burlesque acts, especially for a city of it's size and conservative background. But one thing has been missing from the New Burlesque movement entirely - the forgotten gender, men. Well, the boys of The Star Bar decided to fix that with what was billed as Atlanta's only all-male burlesque one night only show. If you have small children, coworkers or delicate sensibilities around you probably shouldn't continue. Just close the browser and step away from the machine.

You've been warned.

We arrived early, only to find the show wasn't planned to kick off until midnight. But that gave us time to build up some liquid courage, socialize, etc. as the crowd trickled in. By the time the lights dimmed the place was pretty crowded. I was impressed with the number of men that showed up. I think a few of them didn't know what was taking place. Others were there escorting their girlfriends. But it was the first show I've attended in a long time, perhaps ever, where the women outnumbered the men in the room. A nice change!

Things started off with a "card boy" in the form of a giant Oompa Loompa who attempted to sing a little ditty about each performer.

First up, The Church of the Joelar System.

This is one of those acts that immediately says "that ain't right."
The Reverend Joel shook his moneymaker like a preacher with the spirit in him!
I like this picture for the devilish smile.
Hey, it's a show with a message!

There was probably close to 10 acts total, but I'm only including photos of the best ones, or the best photos of whatever I shot. And I don't remember the exact order, so I'm sorry if this is out of synch with reality but a show like this was out of synch with reality as it was happening.

One of the guys who'd been helping set stuff up all night came out and pulled off his overalls to expose beer can underwear to the tune of 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.
take one down, pass it around...

Somewhere in there was the Sexy CEO.
Complete with spiked leather pasties under his button-down looks - kinky!
But the best moment of his act was a wardrobe malfunction. But unlike Ms. Jackson, he had problems getting his clothes off. He thrashed around like this for a good minute to the howling delight of the crowd.

Fortunately, everyone knew the show was not to be taken seriously from the get-go.

He ended the show by exposing a little rubber toy. Unfortunately I was too slow to get a shot of the girl who licked it at the front of the stage.

Had enough? Or do you need more dong?

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