POORE RICHARD’S REALLY POORE APHORISMS
Marcus Aurelius wrote ‘em, Ben Franklin wrote ‘em, Nietzsche wrote ‘em, Mark Twain wrote ‘em; hell, why shouldn’t I?
Try it, maybe you’ll like it.

Poore Richard’s Aphorisms for the Week of Our Lord, 12 February Two Thousand and Seven, which He must claim regardless of the Idiot we elected President.

Symptoms of artistic and intellectual merit in America #2:  Sitting penniless in a mall food court actually contemplating stealing a styrofoam cup out of the garbage can in order to get a free drink.

                                                                                                            Poore Richard

Early to bed, early to rise,
a waste of time, someone else got the prize.

                                                                                                            Poore Richard

“Know thyself” may not be the best piece of advice ever handed out.  I know a lot of folks and I can honestly say plenty of them are better off clueless.

                                                                                                            Poore Richard

I feel like some black-clad Edgar Allan Poe seated in the corner booth of a damn mirror ball discotheque of sickening joy.

                                                                                                            Poore Richard

Okay, after two hours of sitting without a drop of water in the mall, that Styrofoam cup idea is starting to sound pretty good.  I wonder if that girl who just threw hers away had hepatitis to go with that barbed-wire tattoo?

                                                                                                            Poore Richard

Peanut butter: The caviar of poverty.

                                                                                                            Poore Richard

Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah, but I’ll bet you my last can of Spam that “strummin’ on th’ ole banjo” is a double-entendre.  Yet another example of subliminal messages embedded in the music we allow our children to listen to.

                                                                                                            Poore Richard

Whatever happened after Frankie went to Hollywood?  Is he in rehab in Peoria now?  “Frankie Goes to Rehab in Peoria” – welcome to the pleasure dome indeed.

                                                                                                            Poore Richard

I’m bringing home less money than I did 7 years ago after you figure it all out.  That counts two promotions and raises.  But the economists say the economy is doing great.  It’s just like in the old days when the surgeon used to say, “The operation was a success   . . . but the patient died.”

                                                                                                            Poore Richard

I regret I have but one life to give for my country.  Therefore, until I receive a spare, I decline to donate it.

                                                                                                            Poore Richard

Why the Hell do all white men now have a shaved head and a goatee?  My God – it’s the invasion of the Anton LaVey Fan Club!

                                                                                                            Poore Richard

The far right is composed of lying, greedy, racist bastards.
The far leftists are utopian, insanely optimistic dumbasses.
The moderates are boring, unimaginative, tremulous mediocrities.
Monty, I just want to know:  Is there a Door #4?

                                                                                                            Poore Richard

POORE RICHARD’S REALLY POORE APHORISMS

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