Poore Richard’s Aphorisms for the Week of Our Lord, 26 February Two Thousand and Seven, which He must claim while Condoleeza Rice stares on with a face that looks as if she’s perpetually passing a stone shaped like a the Great Pyramid of Cheops. (With apologies to Ben Franklin himself.)
After three days men grow weary, of a wench, a guest,
and weather rainy. Well, OK, not the wench.
He that lieth down with Dogs, shall rise up with
Fleas. This is better, however , than a case of the crabs.
The worst wheel of a cart makes the most noise. And
then it gets the grease and is practically worshipped by the cart owner.
After which time it falls off and wrecks the cart. So what does the owner
do? Set it out next to the entrance to his driveway as a symbol of his own
The poor have little,
He that speaks ill of the Mare, will buy her. But at
least he’ll know what he’s getting.
He that riseth late, must trot all day, and shall
scarce overtake his business at night. But once he catches said business
he’ll realize he should have just stayed in bed.
Does thou love life? Then do not squander time; for
that's the stuff life is made of. That and a hell of a lot of aggravation.
The cat in gloves catches no mice. For this reason the
mice are investing their savings in cat gloves.
Who has deceiv'd thee so oft as thy self? Do not
count thine ex-spouses when trying to solve this riddle.
Well done is better than well said. That’s what I
Be slow in chusing a friend, slower in changing.
Remember – he’s going to expect you to repay that $20.00.
The discontented Man finds no easy Chair. For this
reason, I recommend a futon.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. But
an ounce of prevention costs 17 tonnes of anxiety.
A little neglect may breed great mischief...for want of
a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for
want of a horse the rider was lost. That’s why I’m going into the nail
Old boys have their playthings as well as young ones;
the difference is only in the price. And in the curves.
Richard Van Ingram
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