POORE RICHARD’S REALLY POORE APHORISMS
Marcus Aurelius wrote ‘em, Ben Franklin wrote ‘em, Nietzsche wrote ‘em, Mark Twain wrote ‘em; hell, why shouldn’t I?
Try it, maybe you’ll like it.

Poore Richard’s Aphorisms for the Week of Our Lord, 12 March Two Thousand and Seven, which He must claim even if Alberto Gonzalez is drafting a memo to fire the Almighty and replace Him with a more suitable political appointee suggested by Karl Rove & Harriet Meyers.

Yea, verily, they say unto you, “Bite not the hand that feeds you.”  But I say unto you: Get the hands of others out of your mouth.
                                                                                                                                Poore Richard

(Sung to the tune of “The Hallalujah Chorus,” sort of, with full apologies in advance to Maestro Handel)

Hall-iburton!
Hall-iburton!
Halliburton, Halliburton, Halliburton,
Amen!

They’re in their new offices,
Their new offices in Dubayeh,
Paid for with your tax money, money,
Hard earned cash you paid in your taxes,
Taxes for some war in Iraq,
Mo-ney, mo-ney  supposed
To be for re-building Iraq
That we all now know’s a ridiculous crock
(ri-di-cu-lous crock).

And they will rule forever and ever!
They will rule forever and ever!

The Board of Boards!
The Thing of Things!
The Board of Boards!
The Thing of Things!

A-MEN!!!
                                                                                                                                Poore Richard

We’re in the FBI,
Our first job is to lie,
And to withhold the truth
And hide from Congress every proof.

We’re in the FBI,
We’ll look you in the eye
And tell you we obey the law
While hiding every flaw.

Mueller and Gonzalez
Have us serving our Imperial Prez,
In his name we do as we please,
We only ask you ignore our sleaze.

We’re as moral as Boy Scouts
As long as you don’t find out
All your mail we’ve been through
Without a judge even having a clue.

Now that we’ve been caught,
We promise to do as we ought,
But none of us will serve any time –
Cos when we break laws it’s not a crime!
                                                                                                                                Poore Richard

 
Ask not what your country can do for you because it will get a wistful look in its eye and ask if you have any K-Y Jelly in the house.
                                                                                                                                Poore Richard

The only better teacher than Suffering is More Suffering.  And then you get to go to Grad School.
                                                                                                                                Poore Richard

Saying that the President’s draconian domestic policies and violations of civil rights have resulted in no terrorist attacks for 5 or 6 years is like saying that the reason there are no alligators in my house is this banana I’ve held in my ear for the past week.
                                                                                                                                Poore Richard

POORE RICHARD’S REALLY POORE APHORISMS

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